The Ruminating Bear

  I had just left a friend's house, and as I made my way back to the Dead Presidents Highway to get home to Chicago. Thoughts about who I had just been with began to roll through my head. I realized that when I spent time with these people I felt angry a lot. I couldn't really say if the cause was the air of stagnant frustration, or the stubborn kind of simmering anger, or the insensitivity, or the drugs, or the.... The litany went on, and on, and on, in its familiar negative spiral. It was like a bad tape I had run so many times, and was beginning to get a kind of perverse satisfaction out of tearing these people apart.  Suddenly an idea slammed into this smugly self satisfying explanation. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't really angry at them at all! Perhaps these infractions were really parts of myself I was seeing in these people. Maybe this was something like being your own voyeur and not realizing it. As I looked down that long stream of traffic ahead it dawned on me that

Here’s The Thing The Thing is the source of All Things, Inviting others to it is a gift. The Real Deal is best described by what it isn’t, Making it useful. The smaller it is, The more nimble, numerous, and delicate it can be. To steer the vastness in its movement, A light, but firm touch is required. When the vast and small are full of each other,  harmonies will ensue. When in motion, it is easy to keep moving.  Getting going is another matter. Resisting movement is an important exercise, Moving with its uncertainty, is grace.

  Ideally, a relationship lets the people in it have and achieve more than a single person can. How well this works depends on both partners holding up their ends of their agreements. A bridge is a good metaphor for a relationship, since it is literally a physical version of one. Strong bridges, like strong relationships, have much in common.  The simplest kind of bridge is a plank over a creek. It has two support anchors on either end with a bridge in between. If the plank is too weak for what it needs to bear, it will break. If either support the plank sits on is too weak, the whole thing will fail. In this metaphor, the bridge anchors are the people involved. The plank is the relationship between them.  The durability of the relationship is dependent on the strength of the relationship between the people who “anchor” it. Each person in the relationship has to hold up their part of it.  If a partner's commitment to their agreements weakens over time, the relationship can eventual

I woke up on January 19th, 2022 with a massive headache, feeling cold and shivering.  Every muscle in my body is cramping alternately all the way down one side and then the other.  My first thought is “Maybe this is just a bad migraine.” After a bit it became clear that this is getting worse not better.  My wife Jane checks and I have a fever of 103.5 F, so we go to the emergency room. I don't realize this is the very peak of the Omicron surge. Fortunately, I am admitted right into the emergency room with no delay. I get something for the pain, x-rayed and hooked up to an IV.  I mentioned to the nurse that the last time I had been here I had the option of a private room. She chuckles and asks, “How long ago was that?” “Oh, a couple of years ago.” She says, “You're lucky to even get a bed today. There are folks who have had to wait down here in the hallway all night, until we can find them one.”   The nurse comes in and says “Your blood work has come in and it indicates that you