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Welcome to My Blog

In my work as a Gestalt Counselor, I find myself to be endlessly fascinated with the stories people tell: stories about family, about personal experiences, about reflections on life, the universe and everything (thanks Douglas Adams). As a counselor, I try to be a healthy mirror for my clients, sharing only what personal information is relevant and helpful to the process at hand. This blog represents MY own stories: about my family, my personal experiences, my own reflections on life - deeply personal anecdotes. One was recently published in The Northwestern Law Journal des Refusés.   I look forward to whatever feedback and reflections anyone might have.
Recent posts

An (In)expert Witness in Federal Court

  An (In)expert Witness in Federal Court  By Steven Lindquist Author, Consultant, Counselor currently in private practice. Specializes in Neuro Linguistic analysis, working with men and couples. Trained at the Gestalt Therapy Institute of Chicago. He is a Father, husband, and is proudly owned by two cats and a five-acre farm. Image Source ARTICLE SUMMARY A prisoner at Joliet prison sued the warden for damages, claiming that his constitutional rights had been violated after being confined in solitary for three years, only being allowed to leave his cell every two weeks for a shower across the hall, or an occasional visit to the Infirmary. The judge had already ruled that the prisoner's treatment was in violation of his constitutional rights. The jury was empaneled to decide the monetary compensation for damages due to the prisoner for his unconstitutional confinement. Mr. Lindquist was asked to testify as an expert witness. Despite Mr. Lindquist having never acted in this capacity p

Friends

  I had just left a friend's house, and as I made my way back to the Dead Presidents Highway to get home to Chicago. Thoughts about who I had just been with began to roll through my head. I realized that when I spent time with these people I felt angry a lot. I couldn't really say if the cause was the air of stagnant frustration, or the stubborn kind of simmering anger, or the insensitivity, or the drugs, or the.... The litany went on, and on, and on, in its familiar negative spiral. It was like a bad tape I had run so many times, and was beginning to get a kind of perverse satisfaction out of tearing these people apart.  Suddenly an idea slammed into this smugly self satisfying explanation. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't really angry at them at all! Perhaps these infractions were really parts of myself I was seeing in these people. Maybe this was something like being your own voyeur and not realizing it. As I looked down that long stream of traffic ahead it dawned on me that

The Thing

Here’s The Thing The Thing is the source of All Things, Inviting others to it is a gift. The Real Deal is best described by what it isn’t, Making it useful. The smaller it is, The more nimble, numerous, and delicate it can be. To steer the vastness in its movement, A light, but firm touch is required. When the vast and small are full of each other,  harmonies will ensue. When in motion, it is easy to keep moving.  Getting going is another matter. Resisting movement is an important exercise, Moving with its uncertainty, is grace.

A Bridge Metaphor

  Ideally, a relationship lets the people in it have and achieve more than a single person can. How well this works depends on both partners holding up their ends of their agreements. A bridge is a good metaphor for a relationship, since it is literally a physical version of one. Strong bridges, like strong relationships, have much in common.  The simplest kind of bridge is a plank over a creek. It has two support anchors on either end with a bridge in between. If the plank is too weak for what it needs to bear, it will break. If either support the plank sits on is too weak, the whole thing will fail. In this metaphor, the bridge anchors are the people involved. The plank is the relationship between them.  The durability of the relationship is dependent on the strength of the relationship between the people who “anchor” it. Each person in the relationship has to hold up their part of it.  If a partner's commitment to their agreements weakens over time, the relationship can eventual

Duane and My Brush with Mortality

I woke up on January 19th, 2022 with a massive headache, feeling cold and shivering.  Every muscle in my body is cramping alternately all the way down one side and then the other.  My first thought is “Maybe this is just a bad migraine.” After a bit it became clear that this is getting worse not better.  My wife Jane checks and I have a fever of 103.5 F, so we go to the emergency room. I don't realize this is the very peak of the Omicron surge. Fortunately, I am admitted right into the emergency room with no delay. I get something for the pain, x-rayed and hooked up to an IV.  I mentioned to the nurse that the last time I had been here I had the option of a private room. She chuckles and asks, “How long ago was that?” “Oh, a couple of years ago.” She says, “You're lucky to even get a bed today. There are folks who have had to wait down here in the hallway all night, until we can find them one.”   The nurse comes in and says “Your blood work has come in and it indicates that you

Taos

Over the years the Santa Fe area has been a magical place for me. I have been there many times and every time something unexpected has presented itself. The first time I visited, I lived in Boulder and was on a tour of Southern Colorado and New Mexico for the first time. My wife and I had camped at the Great Sand Dunes National Park on the west side of the continental divide in southern Colorado. It covers 30 square miles, and the dunes pile up into pyramidal shapes as high as 750 feet. It is unique in the world and awesome to visit. The next morning we took route 160 through Trinidad to Durango, and then down to the pueblos of Mesa Verde for a gander. It is a fully developed tourist attraction, with everything under glass and behind ropes, understandable given how many folks visit in a year.  Not really my cup of tea, but fascinating nonetheless. There isn’t really anywhere to linger without commercial pressure, so we took off after a short tour. Our quest for southwestern sights took